psychology, cognitive stuff and the brain

Considering the Opposite in Relationships

It’s bound to happen, in relationships with those who we are often closest to, we end up focusing on all the things that bug us about the other person. Does the following sound familiar?

– I wish he/she would just….

-I wish he/she wouldn’t….

-I hate it when….

Psychologists and relationship experts have a little tool that helps persons view things from a different perspective. It is called “considering the opposite”, which in this case would be like:

-I like/love it when she/he …

By shifting perspectives, we allow our brains to appreciate the good rather than focusing on purely the negative.

I don’t think the goal of it is to simply ignore negative actions or attributes, but to recognize that 1) there might actually be a problem that might need to be discussed in a non-emotional way 2) that the counterparty is not merely full of negatives but has many positives as well (hopefully). 3) By viewing things from a balanced perspective, #1 is more easily obtained.

Advertisements
Standard

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s